Boy likes girl; boy kidnaps girl

On our second day in Sapa, we decided to take a half-day tour of a Red Dao village of Taphin.  Another tribal person led this tour.

Our guide told us a very interesting story about how marriage works in his culture.

Irit and I first asked him about the love market in Sapa.  A few years ago, boys and girls would go to this market to “check” each other out and find a potential mate.  Our guide gave us further insight into this practice, which is still common with tribes that live far away in the mountains.  He told us that when a boy sees a girl that he likes, he would follow her around for a few days to see if she is a good person (good to the people, parents, etc…). He then calls all his male friends for a gathering, and they all get drunk. He then reveals his love for this particular girl that he wants.  The friends now discuss the situation among themselves and once the boy gets approval he asks his male friends to help “get” her.  Note: This is not a typical wingman situation.

The guys get up from their gathering and go find this girl.  They take her away (whether she is willing or not… maybe kicking and screaming)… and basically kidnap her. (At this very moment in the story, Irit and I are horrified, but our guide… a male… finds this practice hilarious).

The guys drop her off to the boy’s parents’ house so she can meet the parents and drink with them. She then must live there for 3 days with his mother and sister(s). All the while the parents of the girl have no idea where she is.

After 3 days, the boy’s parents, the boy, and the girl gather again and the boy asks the girl if she wants to marry him.  If she says no, then the boy can be a gentleman and let her go back home to her family, OR he can force her to marry him.

And they lived happily ever after…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


One Response to “Boy likes girl; boy kidnaps girl”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: